


That Parker Guy

by orphan_account



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types, spideypool - Fandom
Genre: Gay, M/M, Mexican Food tho, Not Little, Read it anyway, This is terrible, for my fragile ego, look at these dweebs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 18:46:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7519228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wade Wilson, being the softie he is, helps out some old friends by working at their Mexican restaurant, because they are dumb and won't except money, every Wednesday. This is what happens when Peter Parker (who totally doesn't have a crush on Deadpool, by the way) walks in to order some damn good food stuffs. Anyway, this is really lame and gay, exactly what you need to brighten up your boring day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Parker Guy

Peter was standing in line at a Mexican restaurant he hasn’t been to before, absentmindedly playing some kawaii knock off Tetris on his flip phone. His old favorite Mexican restaurant had closed, being replaced with a Chipotle or something.

“What can I get started for ya?”

That voice is really familiar, but Peter can’t quite place it. He flips his phone shut and looks up. His eyes go wide and his mouth gapes.

It’s…Deadpool?

He hasn’t ever seen his whole face, no, but he automatically recognizes that smirk, that jaw line, not to mention, the scars, from all the nights they had shared on rooftops, their masks pulled onto the bridges of their noses while they ate….Mexican food. Huh.

Plus, his name tag says Wade. And Peter knew Deadpool’s name from Tony Stark groaning it whenever the merc attended an Avenger meeting.

So, is this where he gets the really good Mexican food? I guess that’s why he works here…but Deadpool is rich, isn’t he? Peter has no words, or explanation.

“Uh I-“  - _‘Those eyes’_ the brunet thinks distractedly.

“We can do your drink first, if you haven’t decided yet.”

He glances behind Wade to a small drink fridge, it holding various bottled sodas, juices and water bottle brands. Nervously adjusting his glasses with hopes of Deadpool not recognizing his voice, “Just a water, please.”

He watches as the merc twists to reach behind him, muscles flexing under his tight black t-shirt, before passing the bottle to his, I guess you could say, customer, in this situation. The cold of the water bottle strongly contrasted to the warmth of Wade’s finger tips brushing his, making Peter clear his throat timidly.

“I just, I, I think I want to try something new?” Peter said it more like a question than a statement. God, he couldn’t even say his order he picked out when he first walked in because Wade’s here and it’s out of their normal element and his order slipped his mind and he briefly wishes he came as Spiderman so his face could be covered but really now as Peter thinks about it that would of made the situation at hand a whole lot worse.

He quickly uncaps his water bottle and takes in a big gulp.

“Try something new?” Wade glances at his coworkers, before leaning in with a giant smirk on his face. “Ever done anal?”

Peter sputters the water, barely catching most of it in his hand. It quickly turns into a coughing fit as he tries to grab napkins and wipe down the counter, muttering apologies to who knows, but probably everyone because that’s who’s looking at him right now. _Everyone._ The napkin container sticks to his nervous Spidey hands and rips it off its stickies (those tiny double-sided sticky mat things? I don’t know what they’re called but anyway) that was once keeping it glued in front of the register. Wade smirks even wider as he puts his chin in his hands, elbows on the counter, watching the cute little train wreck in front of him.

Peter sets the napkin dispenser where it was originally, peeling his hand off it carefully, his face a bright red from the whole fiasco. “Sorry” he mumbles again, letting out one last cough.

“You are just. Too. Adorable.” Wade tilts his face in his hands, his grin growing. “I could eat you up. You sure you’re not on the menu?”

Deadpool, is hardcore flirting with him. I mean, he always flirted with Peter, but while they were in costume, but, now that they were out, he didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t come back with his usual snark because blushing would give him away, and he usually had a mask to cover that. 

He adjusted the strap of his book bag. Yep, right now, he wasn’t Spiderman, no, he was Peter-easily-flustered-nerd-Parker.

Peter pauses for a second. –What would Spiderman say?

 “I could be”

WHAT ARE YOU DOING PARKER? THAT’S NOT WHAT SPIDERMAN WOULD SAY. HE WOULD SAY FUCK OFF OR, OR SOMETHING.

Wade perks up, his mouth going from a grin to a O expression in shock at the reverted quip. “Oh? Little nerd is a little feisty too?”

Peter straightens his posture to a more confident one. DON’T DO IT PETE- “I’m definitely not _little_ ”

Wade lets out a surprised chuckle, pushing himself off the counter. “What do you want to order, Not Little?”

“Depends. What time you get off work?”

PETER BENJAMIN PARKER. WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING?

“In an hour.”

“But I’m hungry _now_.”

“ _Fuck_ ” it comes out breathy.

“Something simple?”

“Huh?” still a lil breathy. Wade’s eyes refocus, blinking away from the hero’s lips. It’s Peter’s turn to smirk, he guesses Wade doesn’t get flirted back with too often.

 “Something simple off the menu. Do you guys have quesadillas or something?”

It’s what Wade always got Spi-

“Spiderman recommended. Only the best quesadillas in New York. Seen him swallow them faster than I could, and I’m really good at swallowing.”

“Prove it”

Wade, with what seems like a chore for both of them; breaks the tension filled eye contact, and lists off the small order to the chef.

"Where should we meet?"

"Very forward of you," Wade glances down at Peter's Stark Industries badge clipped to a Star Wars lanyard hanging off his neck. "Peter Parker, I like it. How about your place?"

The bell in the kitchen window tings, signaling the quesadilla is done. Wade turns and grabs the little paper bag, sliding across the counter.

"In an hour?" Peter starts to dig through his book bag for his wallet but Wade waves him off.

"On me." He motions loosely towards the food. "In an hour." Wade confirms.

"On you in an hour? And I'm the forward one."

"See you soon, Peter" he whispers with a wink, motioning the next customer forward.

Something about Wade saying Peter's name like that sends a shiver down his spine.

* * *

 

“Would you be mad if I said I had vigorous sex with your paparazzi?”

Peter sputters out the bite of the granola bar he was chewing. He’s gotta stop doing that. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. That Parker guy that works for The Daily Bugle? Knows how to ride a dick.”

The spider clears his throat, pulling his mask down as he feels his blush crawling down his neck.

_“Fuck-”_

_“Peter” Wade breathes, his grip on the brunet’s hips tighten, pulling him down onto his cock harder._

_“Yes” Peter moans as Wade lifts his hips, meeting his thrusts to Peter’s bouncing. His nails scratch at Wades scared muscular shoulders. “Oh fuck, I’m coming, I’m com-_

Peter shakes his head, coming back to reality.

“-We went at it like bunnies let me tell ya”

“Deadpool!”

“Sorry, TMI?”

“TMI.”

Deadpool unwraps his burrito in silence.

“Uh. Never mind. Keep going.”

“w-wha-wait what?”

“Tell me about _that Parker guy_ ”

PETER FUCKING PARKER YOU BETTER STOP RIGHT NOW

“You a horny spider?”

“Just curious”  ‘-on how well I did’, he chose not to add.

“Gotta say, he’s a little nerd hipster twink, but damn he knows how to work someone up. He was a huge flirt. Really good at blowjobs. 10/10. Jeez, Spidey, you gotta crush on him or something? Haven’t told me to shut this Sarlacc yet” the scarred man points to his mouth.

Peter shakes his head with a small laugh, before wringing his hands nervously. “You should call him tonight, if you had so much fun with him.”

“You think so? You think he would want _this_?” Wade chuckles. “I’m pretty sure it was a onetime pity fuck. I mean, I was working at a rundown Mexican restaurant in queens.”

“Why, by the way?”

“Old friends, money troubles, wouldn’t except money, job in exchange for free food. Every Sunday. It works out” Deadpool waves it off. “Anyway-“

“Might as well _ask_ Peter”

“Hmm, you’re right. I should call him right now.”

Peter gapes for a second, a wave of panic running through him. “R-right now?”

“Right now”

“Don’t you think you should, like, wait till you get home?”

Wade pauses, his fingers hovering over the call button on his screen. “What’s with you today?”

“Nothing-just”

“Are you jealous?” Deadpool smirks. He brings his hands up to his face with a gasp. “You are totally jealous! Wow I knew _we_ were close but-“

“I’m definitely not _jealous_ ”

Deadpool’s smirk widens, and he holds a devious expression underneath his mask. He reaches up and traces the spiderweb seam from under his eye, down his cheekbone, and across his jaw.

“What are you up to?” Peter says, not in a teasing manner, more like a really panic-y and tension-y manner. Ooh! A dear caught in headlights. Perfect.

“Nothing” Wade shakes his head as leans back to his original position, watching as the tension and panic dripped away from Peter’s body. He presses the call button.

He watches with a knowing smirk when a grainy version of Humps by The Black Eyed Peas sounds from Spiderman’s pocket.

“Uh”

“You gonna answer that?” the smirk grows.

“Uh, I, It’s probably not important”

“I bet it’s very important”

“It’s-”

“That’s the ringtone you chose?” Wade chuckles. “Jesus Christ Peter”

“What?! I’m not Pe-“

“I chose Pony by Ginuwine for you. Very accurate”

Peter gives a defeated sigh, pulling out his flip phone to hang up on the call, before deciding instead to place it on the ledge to listen to. A small smile creeped onto his face at the fact that Wade doesn’t seem angry at all about this.

“You’re not mad?”

“Holy fuck no! Dude I fucked Spiderman, that’s like, at the top of my bucket list.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, and he wants to fuck again?” Deadpool snaps his fingers with a ‘oomf’ sound.

“How did you _know_?”

“When I put your number in my phone and it said you were already saved as Spiderman. Also, I recognized your face, and your lovely lady lumps. Also Also, while you were riding my pony, I saw a glimpse of very familiar red and blue spandex poking out of your closet. I gotta say, you’re not very good at being furtive”

Peter groans, dropping his face in his hands.

“I just have one question.”

 “Don’t Wade”

“Whatcha gonna do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk?” he sings along flamboyantly with Peter’s phone.

“Wade I swea-“

“What you gonna do with all that ass? All that ass inside that jeans?”

* * *

 

Peter groans. “ _Don’t_ ”

“Fuck, _Petey_ ”

“Not yet, give me a minute, stay”

Wade lowers himself onto Peters back instead of pulling out, content with looking like naked koala’s for a bit. “How was that?”

Peter chuckles, untightening one of his hands from the sheet and entangling it with Wade’s sweaty one. “I think we should practice.”

“Oh yeah?” the merc bites Peter’s neck, who’s breath shudders in response.

Peter can feel the smirk on his shoulder. A moan rolls out of his mouth without resistance when Wade gives one last thrust.

“Yeah. _Lots_ of practice.”

“Buckle up then, my little spider monkey, you’re in for one hell of a _ride_.”

“Never call me that again.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I wrote this. Anyway, I LOVE comments and Kudos, makes me feel like I'm like the coolest person in the world, and that makes me write this bullshit more. <3


End file.
